THE JOURNEY ITSELF IS MY HOME: June 2015

Seven months since my last post, where do I begin?

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Yesterday I walked into the classroom for the first time after three weeks of June holiday and I was shocked to see how much the students have grown. They usually look different after coming back from any break, having taken full advantage of their suspension from the school’s strict diet, but the growth I discovered yesterday was the type of growth teachers dream of: a growth in confidence. I’m teaching Bible Knowledge this year and I’m with the same students I taught Information and Computer Studies to last year. I had divided the students into groups and instructed them to read a chapter in the Bible and teach it to the rest of the class, answering the questions assigned to them. Last year when I gave them a presentation assignment it took four class periods for the students to complete it, the delay coming from prolonged hesitation and fear of speaking in English in front of the others. English is their second (for some third) language and expressing one’s self in front of a group using something other than one’s native language is not an easy task. Yesterday I was more than impressed by the student’s increased confidence in speaking which persisted even through their classmates' chorus of laughter when they erred in their English grammar. Stumbling through this task is expected, but it is in this stumbling that we can find growth.

Needless to say there have many stumbles so far in my second year JV experience. At the start of the year I was given my new teaching assignment and charged with a mission to establish and develop a new co-curricular activities department at SPCHS. This department involves coordinating all sports, clubs and entertainment activities for our 700+ students. In previous years this was the work of an all-encompassing Campus Ministry department, but as our school grows so do its departments and staff, adapting and changing in whichever ways necessary. Having just one year to work in this department and fulfill my mission I decided my primary task would be to form a small team of teachers to lead the department with me and then continue the work after my term with JVC has finished. I set the deadline for May, by which when I hoped to have formed a team ready to enhance the Jesuit mission at SPCHS through the work of the new department.

I stumbled through these first months in my new role, learning through trial and error how to organize meetings, delegate tasks and communicate information in a culturally appropriate way. In this stumbling I have come to realize the task I set for myself focused so much on what I deemed necessary to accomplish that it ignored the importance of relationships that were forming along the way. I have since learned that the most appropriate way of handling work affairs, and affairs of any kind, is in fact the dignified way of having holistic care and concern for people- their weaknesses as well as their strengths- and not subjecting their value to a standard of workplace productivity that I or anyone else measures people by.

Outside of work I stumbled again as my actions shifted away from what I desire most. An hour extra was added to the workday this year, requiring that the staff school bus leave at 5:00 pm, and as a result the time I’m available for choir practice was reduced to thirty minutes. Instead of prioritizing the relationships and joy I got from choir, I decided those thirty minutes could be spent doing other things and so I completely stopped going to practices and singing at Sunday Mass. Every Sunday I would stare longingly across the church at my friends who throw their whole hearts and souls into singing. The choir is known for being among the best throughout Tanzania and the choir members are very serious about keeping this status. Their sense of community is strong and their commitment is great. They practice for two and half hours, four days a week, doing physical exercise for thirty minutes two of these days to strengthen the lungs and vocal chords. There are monthly fees and fines for being tardy or absent to practices and performances. When one voice falters during practice, they repeat the measure over and over until it matches again. Last year I grew to love my fellow choir members and their dedication to the group effort. I more than stumbled when I cut these events and relationships out of my life.

During our June holiday my community mates and I spent a week traveling around Rwanda and I used the time we spent in transit on buses and boat to more deeply reflect on these recent months and discern my needs for the five remaining. In reflection I found myself thinking mostly about the relationships I have formed in the various communities I’m a part of and I contemplated their capacity for growth. On the wall in my bedroom is posted a quote by Henri Nouwen. It’s been there since I came across it on retreat eight months ago and my eyes pass over it daily hoping the words will become enmeshed in my attitudes and expressed in my actions. Nouwen says:

More and more, the desire grows in me simply to walk around, greet people, enter their homes, sit on their doorsteps, play ball, throw water, and be known as someone who wants to live with them. It is a privilege to have the time to practice this simple ministry of presence. Still, it is not as simple as it seems. My own desire to be useful, to do something significant, or to be a part of some impressive project is so strong that soon my time is taken up by meetings, conferences, study groups, and workshops that prevent me from walking the streets. It is difficult not to have plans, not to organize people around an urgent cause, and not to feel that you are working directly for social progress. But I wonder more and more if the first thing shouldn’t be to know people by name, to eat and drink with them, to listen to their stories and tell your own, and to let them know with words, handshakes, and hugs that you do not simply like them, but truly love them.

(Emphasis in bold is my own)

These words remind me of one truth I have found: humanity’s gift is the sharing of one’s joys and struggles with another. The desire Nouwen speaks of is growing stronger in me now that only a few months remain to cherish the people I have grown to love. Since returning from holiday travels I have started going to choir practice again, and just in time to prepare for their annual audio recording! Now as I plan my days I plan for opportunities to see people and talk with them, whether it is the guards at the parish or the women in the market whom I buy produce from. I’m looking forward to spending more time in conversation with the new co-curricular activities team when school starts in full swing again. I want to hear the stories of these friends and be brave enough to share with them my own, and I’m grateful for the five remaining months to try and express this desire through action. I know I will keep stumbling on this journey, it is expected after all, but it is in this stumbling that I can find growth.

With my mother at Ngorongoro Crater

With my parents on Simba Rock, the highest point in Dodoma town!

Visiting the family of the former head cook from SPCHS. He and his family have taught me many things including Kiswahili, how to cut jackfruit, how to sing during church service, and how to properly cook samaki (fish).

Celebrating Easter at the Jesuit Novitiate in Arusha, picture here with volunteers from the Dar es Salaam and Dodoma communities and with the Novitiate House Minister.