Six Months...time for an update!

Indeed it is now six months that I have been in Tanzania! Time is swiftly moving and my last reflection shares where my thoughts have been over these past few months: on relationships in community life. Living in community has been by far the most challenging part of this experience so far, and from it has come many reflections on my values and my mission as a volunteer.

Right now the school is closed for June holiday for two weeks until Form II and Form IV students return for additional classes. Form II and Form IV take the national exams later this year and it is these scores that determine whether they can advance or not, so many schools require these students to follow a strict schedule to prepare them for the exams. The school will open for Form I and Form III students in early July. During my two weeks of vacation I traveled to Arusha with my community mate for a brief get-away to reflect on these last six months. I visited my host-family whom I stayed with when I was here in 2012, we walked around Arusha treating ourselves to avocado milkshakes and sushi, and hiked part of Mount Meru. We stayed at the Jesuit novitiate and were there for the ceremony welcoming the new novices into the Society of Jesus. It was a refreshing trip!

Now I am back in Dodoma catching up on emails and letters (and this blog!) before going back to school. I am looking forward to the fresh start of a new term and the chance to put some ideas into action at school and in the relationships I am building with others in my community.

Thank you for all of your continued prayers and support! Everyday I wake up filled with gratitude for being here and this opportunity to share my experience with so many others!

Amani,

Mary

The past six months in pictures:

Jesuits vs. Jesuit Volunteers volleyball match at SPCHS

Form II students volunteering at a home for children with mental disabilities as part of the Community Service program

Double rainbow showering blessings over SPCHS

Celebrating International Women's Day with the young women at SPCHS

Celebrating my Birthday with my community mates from America (above) and Europe (below) at a local restaurant

Another day of community service at the same home for children with disabilities. 

Our community having a sweet treat at Dodoma's best ice cream shop.

A view of Arusha from Mt. Meru

Victoria and I hiked part of Mt. Meru during June holiday

No fewer than 200 chicks made their home with the Jesuits mid-April.  These little ones will help to provide eggs and meat for the students at SPCHS.

The neighbor girls love coming over to play games and teach us Kiswahili.

Jamie and I ambitiously climbed to harvest the fruit of our pomegranate tree

Julius came for a final meal before going to the Jesuit novitiate where he will be for two years in training to become a Jesuit! 

The convent in Rombo near Moshi, where we spent April retreat.

The Dar es Salaam and Dodoma volunteers feasting on retreat at the Huruma Convent near Moshi.

Students dancing in the Talent Show

Students letting out some more energy after the Talent Show

Preparing liquid food for the new chicks at the Jesuit Residence in Ihumwa

The office Victoria and I share at SPCHS, filled with books waiting to be graded!

Some unexpected finds on the computer lab bookshelf in our office

Teachers piling into the Jesuits' truck for a lift to town after the bus broke down at the day's end

Learning to run out of the desert and into community

(written on 5, June)

A young woman met me on the path I was running the other morning. It is on rare occasion that I meet other people running at the same time as I am, and even more novel for it to be another woman. We were running in opposite directions, heading towards each other, and as the distance between us closed she turned and waited until I was beside her so that we might run together. Within a few strides we were in sync and we just ran. Not a word was spoken between us. I wondered for how long we would share the path before she would split away in different direction. Generally I run alone so that my thoughts may wander freely without being filled with concern for another person's needs but this time I was grateful for company on the path. We reached my turning point so I thanked her for the run. She only looked at me with a blank face and then turned to continue running with me. We ran for another five minutes then she simply stopped and turned back, leaving us to go our separate ways.

So often this happens to us in life! We meet someone whom we are not looking for nor expect to find, they join us on our journey in life maybe as a co-worker, a teammate, a roommate or a spiritual partner...  we don't know how long they will remain in our lives. We don't know for how long we will share the same path. But how important is the length of our shared journey? If it is God (or however it is you identify the Greater Being) that connects us to others why must we try to overstep the Mystery that is at work between us by trying to know and predict everything? The people who enter our lives are there as they are. We can meet them as they are on the path or we can wish they were further ahead or behind us, as if we are in a race and they either the competition that pushes us to go further or the slower runners that make us feel better about our own ability to run. We can demand to hear answers to questions that even they are not sure of, or we can be companions sharing a sacred silence that is heavy with the contemplations and reflections on the lives that we are living.

As this Easter seasons draws to an end I find myself reflecting on the forty years the Israelites spent wandering in the desert looking for an experience of God. From time to time we all find ourselves in a spiritual desert. A desert where we wander alone, seeking refuge in the oasis of support given by friends and family only when we need it, and only when we choose to stop and rest from the exhausting heat of the sun or from the torments of our self-depleting thoughts.

In the days preceding Easter my community traveled to Moshi in Northern Tanzania on a retreat for personal reflection and to engage in dialogue to improve our community life. Living in community requires us to become conscious of how our actions and words impact others and it teaches us to practice forgiveness -of others and ourselves- when we fail to live up to the expectations we set. I read some of the work of Thomas Merton while on retreat and was really struck by his insight on community life and solitary life. Merton compares solitary life to desert life, a life filled with despair and a wandering that can drive us mad. Sometimes, he says, we are drawn to this desert to find something more meaningful in life. This happens especially when our lives with others become very complicated. He writes, “Do not feel to solitude from the community. Find God first in the community, then He will lead you to solitude.”

How often do we flee to the desert to get away from whatever problems are around us? We don't want to deal with a disrespectful co-worker, an unpredictable boss or an over-active roommate and we escape into a solitary life within the desert. We tell ourselves we can go on alone, without these people or others to share the joys and agonies of life's experiences. Sometime we convince ourselves that we are more spiritual and holy when we are in the desert because we think we are alone with God. But are we not, in fact, just alone with ourselves? When the Israelites escaped the desert they rejoiced- they were at least free from the torments and trials of wandering alone in their suffering, they were reunited with friends and families, enemies and strangers, and they were happy. Being in the presence of others was the greatest reward.

Though our lives may be riddled with troubles like working through a conflict with a friend, finding meaning in our work, or learning how to live with our imperfections, retreating to a desert will not bring us the peace we seek- and I am witnessing the truth of this in the people I am working with. Tanzania is a communal society which means that individuals work together to benefit the community first, and as a result individual lives are improved. In our school community the faculty and staff support each other when there is an illness, death, birth, or wedding within the community; at lunch the teaching and non-teaching staff sit and eat together; on sports days our netball and soccer teams are made up of workers from the kitchen staff, faculty members, and administration. The community spirit is certainly not perfect and it is well-known that we can improve our collaborations with each other, but I think the foundation for this living and learning from each other is there, now we need to nurture it and let it blossom into something beautiful.

In the same way we must nurture the complicated relationships in our lives. We must will ourselves to meet others as they are on the path and be grateful for however the relationship is in that moment, without trying to predict what will come of the relationships or how it will end. It is in this way we will find ourselves in solitude, or the peace that allows us to be calm and patient. In solitude we will find it possible to go on the path without knowing when the person will go her own way. If we choose the solitary path in the desert and retreat to the oasis of community support only when we desire it, we will find ourselves in the deepest dunes without any oases in sight when we are most spiritually tired and thirsty. The young woman on my running path reminds me that if we go with others and embrace them as they are, for however long they are with us, we will find it is easier to forgive ourselves for our own failings and the path on which we are going will be less lonesome, even if for only five minutes.